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THE BAIRNS
Almost every year since they came into the world, I have attempted to make a portrait of my two children, Charlie and Pia. Some years were more successful than others, as is reflected by images missing during the teen years when they each had more agency and the capacity to decline their Mother’s “insistent and annoying” ritual. Earlier years are missing because I’m yet to delve into my archive of negatives and snapshots from a time when I prioritised my role as a Mother first and a photographer second (really just sheer exhaustion). One day I’ll add the missing years.
2020 has allowed me time to reflect and organise photos of the children and in the process has brought about all kinds of contradictory feelings of grief, loss and mortality but also of pride, curiosity and immense love. Reducing the years of fatigue, love, frustration, patience, impatience and all the human/parental emotions, to a brief suite of images that portray the growth and development of these two exceptional people (and yes I am biased but they truly are) has been a deeply meaningful process for me as a Mother and an artist. We rarely talk about the transition of parental emotions when our children leave home. “Empty nest” syndrome, certainly fits the bill but doesn’t quite muster the intensity of feelings that are experienced. This small collection of portraits made over more than 20 years, is my way of both letting go and hanging on and I hope the portraits will continue for as long as they allow me.